Words to be read when I am dead. [not a suicide note]
January 1st, 2006
I'm actually starting this entry on 10/10/2006.
So... I'm dead.
Not that it is needed, but I give permission for you all to move on with your lives, to forget. I encourage it. That is what I want. Throw out or sell my things. Or keep what you want. Just do whatever makes you happy.
I am gone. That doesn't hurt me. I *am* not.
Hell? Don't believe in it. Maybe now is a good time to re-evaluate your own beliefs, if they trouble you.
I don't know how I died, of course. If it was painful or humiliating or otherwise sad, don't worry. It's over. That was just a moment. Remember me happy. I had some good times.
No one should bother blaming his/her-self, either. Our control is limited. What you did, is what you *could* do. People act in self-interest. That's just how it works. We gamble all the time that other people will be okay. We have to, and sometimes we lose.
There is nothing you can do for me now.
One final note: I would rather have died than lived in fear.
[I will probably add to this as I think of more things]
EDIT 9/6/09: I do not want a sad funeral, or proselytizing. I would prefer something like a celebration (maybe kaufmanesque). But the funeral is not for my sake. Do what you must.
EDIT 12/6/2015: In light of a recent loss, I am bumping this to remind me to update it. No one is watching this at this point anyhow.